The room is dark, cold, and just gives off an eerie feeling. There is no light in the room other than the moonlight that is coming in from the window. Daedalus knew that there was no way to escape. He himself had designed this labyrinth so that no one could ever leave. He and his son were both stuck here forever just because of one mistake. It was not even his fault. How was he supposed to know that someone would be able to escape? Minos should have punished his daughter instead of the two of them. She was the one that helped Theseus get out of the labyrinth. He had nothing to do with and yet he was the one paying the price for it.
Icarus: Dad, this is just cruel. We did nothing and yet we are the ones paying for it. We need to find a way to leave this place. Ariadne should be the one to get punished.
Daedalus: I know son. I made this maze which is why he has trapped us in here. Minos needs to punish someone since his own daughter ran off with him.
Icarus: That is not fair. You need to think of a plan to escape. We cannot be in here forever like he has told us to do.
Daedalus: I have thought of a way, I just do not know if it will work or not. It is very dangerous and never been tried before.
Icarus: What is it? I am sure you can do it, you are the smartest man I know. You built this place yourself. I know your plan will work.
Daedalus: I am thinking about making wings out of feather and join them together with wax to create wings. That will help us fly away from here and go off to another island or some place far away from here.
Icarus: Dad this is outrageous! I have never heard anything like it. A man flying. Is this even possible?
Daedalus: I have thought it all and I know it can work. I am just going to start making the wings, this will take me a couple of days to make. We cannot talk about this in front of the guards or anyone. No one must know.
Icarus: Ok dad, I will never talk about this again. Not even with you so no one else can hear of it.
Daedalus started working during the same night. He used the wax from the candles to join the feathers together. He got the feathers from the birds that would fly close to the windows or rest there for some time. It took him three nights to build them since he could not work on them during the day The next day he gave them to his son and put the two of them put them on.
Daedalus: I need you to listen to me. This is very important. Do not fly too high or close to the son, the wax will start to melt and you will fall. Do not fly too close to the water or the waves in the sea, the feathers will get wet and then you will not be able to fly. Do not forget this.
Icarus: Yes dad, I will be very careful and remember this. Do not worry, we will we fine. I am confidant that this will work and we will finally be able to get out from here.
Author's Note: I decided to stop the story right as they were about to jump from the window and escape. This way the readers could image their own ending, whether it was their escape or if they died. Maybe they get caught by the guards before this could happen or if they are found later on. I think this was better than telling everyone what actually happened and spoil the ending. I used this picture to show Daedalus telling his son to be careful while putting on his wings. The other images gives away what happens and so I did not want to use that. Sometimes it is better to find your own ending than to break that image of the happily ever after that we always want to see. I have read this story before and so it was easy to write about. I did say exactly what happened from the source into my story except I added the conversation between the father and the son. In the original version all you hear about it how he told his son to be careful and they fly off. you do not get much about what happens before that other than the scene with Theseus. Here I added the frustrations that they could have had with their situation and how they came up with their escape plan. I also used more of a modern language instead of the olden style since people sometimes get bored of that.
I like how you left the ending up to the mind of the reader. It definitely makes me think more about all of the options that could have happened, which is different from reading the original. The dialogue is also a good addition to the story because, like you said, the original doesn't delve into their discussions and planning before attempting something so crazy at the time. There were just a few words that were misspelled, but besides that it was great!
ReplyDeleteShruti, I think you did a really great job writing this story. I throughly enjoyed reading it from start to finish and it kept me completely engaged. I think it would be even better if you included more detail about why the maze was so impossible to get out of and how it was made, but I think the plot and dialogue were really good. I also like how you ended it on a cliffhanger, in my head they flew out without any issues and were free forever.
ReplyDeleteInteresting choice to focus on the rising action instead of what most writers focus on, the flight itself. I think your approach humanizes Daedalus and Icarus more. Also, it was cool that you explained why they were trapped in the labyrinth due to the events of the Minotaur/Perseus myth.
ReplyDeleteFocusing on the rising action also leaves more room for the reader to wonder if the later events of the story would change based on your interpretation. Like, maybe they would end up encountering Perseus and Ariadne again, or maybe the king would send people after them? Interesting to think about.
I really liked how you allowed the ending of the story to be based around the inference of the readers. It allowed for the reader to work on figuring things out. I think that you did a really good job I can't wait to read more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi! I really like how you structured your story in terms of the dialogue. It made it easy to follow and easy to stay interested, too. I think my favorite part about the story is how you took your creative license as an author to stop the story right before they were going to jump. I think decisions like these in terms of writing make a great author. It also make me want to continue reading. Nice job!
ReplyDelete